These days, having a baby does not mean that a mother has to give up her career. In fact, for many families, having two incomes is practically a necessity. But dealing with the challenges of parenthood while keeping a place in the workforce can feel like juggling with an increasing variety of balls, clubs and spinning plates.
The demands involved in taking care of infants while maintaining your professional responsibilities can be very stressful and can seem completely overwhelming to even think about.
However by focusing on some key strategies it is possible for working parents to find a balance between their family life and their work, and whether you are already an experienced parent or you are just starting on the parenthood journey, here are a few tips that may help to find a harmony between working and parenting with your mental and physical wellbeing as a priority.
Developing Time Management
Probably the most critical skill for a working parent to learn is how to effectively manage their time. Just as in business, time management is the secret to getting everything done in the time available.
While this may seem one more chore to add to the rest, it is vital that you can create a structured schedule (and of course, keep to it), and the time spent in planning will be repaid many times over.
A simple and effective way to start is by using a visual aid, like a blank calendar – a month divided into 31 empty squares, with enough room to write notes in each square. Taking one week at a time, plan out each day into time slots for the necessary activities – work tasks, family activities, quality time with your new baby, and personal downtime to relax (alone or with your partner).
This approach helps to clarify in your mind all the things you want to accomplish day by day, week by week, and not only organise yourself but also give clear expectations for the involvement of the rest of your family.
Utlising this sort of planning tool lets you instantly see your commitments so you can respond quickly to last minute changes, invitations from friends etc. If you designate time for work and family you will see what time you have for personal issues – fitness regime, relaxation etc.
Routine is important – not every day will be the same but it should follow a plan so you know what to expect and how to deal with it. Remember of course this is not just a planning exercise, it is a method of meeting the demands of caring for your child while fulfilling your other commitments.
Boundary Setting
In today’s digital world and the concept of working remotely, lines can become blurred and your working life can intrude into your family life – zoom calls, emails, last minute phone calls and messages which require a timely response.
Setting boundaries can require a little assertiveness, which really just means clear communication about your availability. If you work from home or if your work requires you to do some after hours tasks, make it clear when you will be available, and when you will not be answering the phone or replying to emails and messages. You may need to set out specific times when you will be “online” to work from home and when you will be “offline” to be with your family.
Boundaries also need to be set for other family members – limits on screen time for example, and screen-free times during meals and family activities. You may initially get some push back, particularly from family members who usually spend a lot of time scrolling through their smartphones, but hopefully with a firm but fair approach they will begin to recognize the importance of being “present” and taking part in the family group.
With these boundaries you may actually find your work time becomes more disciplined and productive and that family interactions are higher quality.
Mental Wellbeing
As you go through your busy day you often focus on other people’s priorities – what your child needs, what your partner needs, what your work demands are. The result is that your own mental wellbeing takes a back seat. This is not healthy and can lead to burnout with negative consequences for everyone around you, as you experience fatigue and irritability.
You have to acknowledge that self-care is not selfishness, and incorporating personal time into your schedule is vital. Perhaps not a day at the spa or a skiing weekend, but just a few quiet moments each day to read a book, or maybe meditate. Small moments like these are ideal to give your mental battery a quick recharge. Consciously look for activities that take you out of your routine, like yoga, the gym, or simply going for a walk. If you indulge yourself just a little you will see an immediate mood improvement, your energy level will increase, and you can be a patient and caring parent.
Conclusion
The greatest challenge of being a working parent, especially a new parent, is balancing work with parenthood. Your child deserves the best possible start in life and that comes with the love and care of parents. However you cannot walk away from your work responsibilities, particularly if you are trying to grow a career to build a better life for your family’s future.
The solution lies in fully implementing the key principles – effective time management, setting clear boundaries, and focusing on personal wellbeing.
It is normal to feel overwhelmed occasionally but there is a great deal of satisfaction from meeting and overcoming the challenges. Above all keep in mind why you are doing this – caring for your new baby in a complex and confusing world.
No one says you have to be perfect, the important thing is to keep progressing and learning along the journey, and you will attain a fulfilling balance in both your career and your family life.